Troha Family

OK, yes I do know that it's been almost 2 months since July 4th, but at least it's better than never!! LOL So on July 4th Jeff's parents asked us to join them for their anniversary night at the last minute. They were celebrating their 40th anniversary at a nice, new hotel in downtown Dallas. Once we secured babysitters with Mom and Leah, we were off. We stayed at The Joule which is one of the few luxury hotels in the world with Starwood hotels. There were good things and bad things about the hotel. The worst thing was the pool. We were all ready to go and relax by the pool first thing ~ which is pretty much the norm for anyone at a hotel in the summer. However, their pool isn't your typical pool. It's on the roof and surrounded by these big futon-type beds ~ which was great. In fact, I felt like I was walking into a pool in Miami...loud music, beds, scantily clad women, etc. But the pool there isn't for the guests at the hotel. It's actually owned by another company and you have to reserve the beds/sitting there. It's a $350 tab minimum to have a bed! Even if we had wanted to do that it wasn't an option since they were all taken. Needless to say we were all pretty disappointed to realize that we weren't getting to relax by the pool. Dad was pretty upset to say the least.

For dinner, we went to Ol' Warsaw. It's a very nice restaurant that we haven't been to in years. In fact, it's the place that Jeff took us for his Sr. Prom. LOL They have a crab-stuffed filet mignon that is absolutely delicious. Let me tell you that I ate every last bite of that steak!!! Oh yes I did and yes it was fantastic!!!

Now I'm saving the best for last. ;) Mom & Dad got a suite and we got a standard room. We all went to our rooms when we first got there. After we got settled, Jeff and I went down the hall to their room. They offered to change rooms with us for that night so that we could have the bigger one if we wanted (since they were planning to stay the entire weekend). I told them absolutely not. We LOVED our room ~ or should I say I? When I walked in the room, my mouth dropped to the floor. I will have a round bed one day. Not only was there a round bed, but the carpet was zebra print and the bed had red leather bed skirt!!! Yes, I did say red leather!! The wall across from our bed was full mirror with a flat screen TV ~ who the heck would want to watch TV?!? ;) It was a very small room...felt like we were in Europe, but very modern. So we had a fabulous time to say the least.

The view from the door of our bed

The wall directly across from the bed

The bathroom vanity...yes, that is a red counter and a red light in the sink!!

The shower...if you couldn't tell

Our robes that matched the carpet and room

Jeff's grandmother on his mom's side, Mammaw Small, has been in the nursing home for a few years now. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's in 1981. The last year has been rough for her in that she could barely even get out of bed and talk above a whisper. It was very hard to watch her go through that. She buried her husband back in the summer of 1993. So I know that she was so ready to go and meet him again in heaven but her little body just wouldn't quit. She finally went to be home with the Lord on July 24 at the age of 80. So we packed up and drove down to Many, La on the 26th and got there just in time for the end of the viewing. It was so great to see all of the family. It's so sad that it is so hard for all of us to get together at the same time! Her service was on Monday morning. Jeff was a pall-bearer and the girls did really well.

Then 2 1/2 weeks later we get the call that Pappaw Troha died on the morning of August 9. He was so ready to go...we know because he told us several times. He buried Mammaw in March of 1995 ~ less than two years after Pappaw Small. So back we went to Many for the second funeral. Jeff had worked Saturday night and had to work again Sunday night. I didn't want to wake him up just to tell him, so I waited until he woke up. We left on Monday after I was done at the hospital. Again, it was so great that everyone of us was all there together....Dad even flew Rob in from San Francisco. Pappaw started living with Mom and Dad while I was pregnant with Kendall. He so enjoyed the girls coming over so much. He would just laugh and laugh at them. It was fun tryig to figure out who was having more fun ~ Pappaw or the girls. I am so grateful that we were able to spend so much time with him during his last 3 years. That definitely made saying good-bye so much easier. I was curious how the girls would take his passing since they had spent so much time with him. I didn't keep them out of the viewing ~ I felt like they could decide what they wanted to do. Kendall just wanted to hug and kiss him over and over. She asked if he was sleeping or "night-night" so I told her yes he was. She leaned over and said, "Sweet dreams." It was all I could do to keep it together (and still is as I'm typing this now). I'm not one that has ever wanted to look at anyone in a casket. I don't know if it's because I don't want my last visual memory to be of them dead in a casket or what, but I think that Avery is the same way.

I will say that this was a huge learning experience for me that I didn't expect to get. There are 2 things that I learned from this. First, I learned that I need to let someone go if they are ready to go. By that I mean no feeding tubes or whatever I can do to sustain their lives anymore than what they want. I have never thought about this before really. This isn't easy to do but I think it's what is right. In other words, if Mom just starts deteriorating later in life, I'm not going to do everything I can to keep her alive just so she won't die. If her body starts shutting down, I'm going to let it do that if that's what she wants (but I will do what I can to keep her comfortable and out of pain). If she wants to live on machines then I'll let her do that ~ either way it's her choice to make. I pray that I don't have to make that decision, but I'm much more prepared to do that now if it does come to that.

The second thing that I learned is that I am by no means ready in any shape or form to lose my Mom. I can't even think about it yet. I'm praying that she takes after her Aunt Doris and is able to fix her roof in her 80s. Well, I know that she wouldn't just because she has a bad knee, but that she could if it weren't for that. I can't imagine what I would do without my in-laws either. That might sound funny, but since I've known them since I was 16 they feel more like parents to me than in-laws. I'm so very blessed by that. But I realize now that it's my parents' turn next since all of their parents are gone now. I pray that they live long, high-quality lives.

Thank you, Father, for giving me 2 sets of parents and for me never wondering if I was loved or not. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure with the family and friends that You have surrounded me with and I thank You for that.